When You Can't Shut Off: Finding Rest in the Season of Peace
The text message came at 11:47 PM on Christmas Eve. A pastor friend, sitting with his family after the candlelight service, felt his phone buzz. A church member needed to talk. Right now. About something that could wait until January 3rd.
He responded.
Of course he did.
Paul wrote about people in the early church who "addicted themselves to the ministry of the saints" (1 Corinthians 16:15, KJV). The Greek word tasso carries this idea of arranging yourself, positioning yourself, devoting yourself to serving others. The household of Stephanas made themselves available. They showed up. They served.
Beautiful, right?
Until it kills you.
The Addiction Nobody Talks About
Here's the brutal truth most pastors won't admit: we're addicted to being needed.
The phone rings—we answer. The email dings—we check. When someone has a crisis, we drop everything. We tell ourselves this is what ministry demands. What faithfulness looks like. What God expects.
But somewhere between devotion and addiction, we crossed a line.
Real addiction isn't about the substance. It's about the compulsion. The inability to stop, even when stopping would save your life. When you can't turn off your phone during dinner. Can't ignore the text during your kid's basketball game. Can't let a day pass without checking your email seventeen times.
That's not dedication.
That's addiction.
And Christmas—this season when the world slows down and families connect—becomes just another week we power through, exhausted and empty, wondering why the joy we preach feels so distant.
The Danger of Never Shutting Off
Your body keeps score.
Heart disease, hypertension, diabetes—these aren't just random health problems that plague pastors. They're the physical consequences of a nervous system that never downshifts. Your body was designed for rhythms: work and rest, activity and recovery, engagement and withdrawal.
When you eliminate rest, you don't become more productive. You become less effective. Studies show that decision quality drops 40% when you're exhausted. Your preaching suffers. Your leadership weakens. Your discernment fails.
But the spiritual damage cuts deeper.
When you can't shut off, you begin operating from depletion rather than overflow. You start serving from duty instead of devotion. The joy drains out. The passion fades. You're still doing ministry, but the vitality—the life-giving energy that drew you into this calling—has leaked away.
Your family notices first. The way you're physically present but mentally absent. How you respond to their stories with half-attention while scrolling your phone. The irritation that flares when they interrupt your "important" work.
Your church notices too, though they might not say anything. They see a leader who preaches rest but models restlessness. Who talks about Sabbath but never takes one. Who declares "Come to me, all who are weary" while drowning in weariness himself.
The message is clear: what Jesus offers isn't enough for real life.
Breaking the Addiction
Change starts with one honest admission: I can't keep doing this.
Not "I shouldn't." Not "I need to work on balance." But a full-stop recognition that your current pattern is unsustainable and unhealthy.
Then you build new practices.
Set clear boundaries. Decide right now: no ministry emails after 7 PM. No pastoral phone calls during family dinner. One full day each week where your phone stays in a drawer. Write these down. Share them with your leadership team. Let your congregation know.
Yes, someone will have a crisis during your time off. Someone always does. Here's what mature Christians understand: God has other people who can help. Your church has deacons, elders, other staff members, mature believers who can step in. When you make yourself the only solution to every problem, you don't serve your church—you stunt their growth.
Create rituals of disconnection. December 25-31 should be sacred. No meetings. No counseling appointments. No "quick questions" after service. Put an out-of-office message on your email: "I'm offline with family until January 2. For emergencies, contact [appropriate person]."
Then turn it off. All of it.
Spend Christmas morning with your family without checking your phone. Watch your kids open presents with full attention. Have conversations that last longer than three minutes. Read a book that has nothing to do with ministry. Sleep past 6 AM.
Redefine faithfulness. You've been measuring devotion by availability. Start measuring it by sustainability. The pastor who burns out after five years helped nobody. The leader who stays healthy for thirty years multiplies impact exponentially.
God didn't call you to be available 24/7. He called you to be faithful. Those aren't the same thing.
The Gift You Give
When you rest, you model something your church desperately needs to see: that following Jesus actually works.
That His yoke really is easy. That His burden really is light. That the Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath.
Your people need permission to rest. They won't take it until they see you take it.
This Christmas, give yourself—and your church—that gift.
Turn off your phone. Step away from the ministry. Trust God to hold everything together while you remember what it feels like to be human.
The work will be there when you return.
But you'll be different. Rested. Renewed. Ready to lead from vitality instead of depletion.
That's the leader your church actually needs.
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